Fweeeee!
by singingrain
Summary: Kagome has a bit of a problem, and the ever helpful best friend will... occasionially... help her. Slight crackishness... Ok, extreme crackishness. OneShot. SessKag.


"Sango, please, PLEASE, say you have one," I whisper at Sango and attempt the pathetic puppy dog look. The science teacher prattles on at the front of the classroom, unperturbed by the fact that only a select few were actually paying attention to his lecture. She glares at me, then lets out a snigger, relishing in my discomfort.

"First off, what have I told you about that face? It makes you look constipated. Secondly, you really expect to me to give you one after that stunt you pulled? What were you thinking locking me in a maintenance closet with that, that-" She sputters and looks at me as if she was still deeply scarred from the little 'incident' that happened this morning "-PERVERT!"

I sigh and retort a little angrily; I'm starting to get really uncomfortable. "Oh come on! I've already apologized a million times! Anyway, it's so goddamn OBVIOUS that you and Miroku like each other! So, pretty please, will you help me out?"

Her face softens a bit, but she shakes her head. "Sorry, Kags, I don't have any; try going to the nurse," she says apologetically. I am REALLY uncomfortable at this point, and something snaps. I slam my fist down on my desk and stand up, shouting,

"DOES ANYONE HAVE A GODDAMN TAMPON!?!?!?!"

The class goes silent and stares at me in shock.

Whoops.

A deep, long-suffering sigh comes from beside me, and I turn to find Sesshoumaru digging through his backpack.

"Here," he says, as he hands it to me. I lift it above my head triumphantly, and then rush out of the class to find the nearest bathroom. As I zoom out, I notice the dumbstruck look of my poor bachelor teacher. Ah, the naivety of single men.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When I got back, the teacher had apparently recovered himself and resumed the lecture. So I walked down to my seat at the back of the room, ignoring the strange looks from the guys and the knowing ones from the girls. As soon as I sit down, though, the bell rings, and we left the class in search of our next. Sango glances at me, and then Sesshoumaru as we walk down the hall.

"You guys have been friends for waaaaaay to long," she concludes. Sesshoumaru just gracefully snorts.

I'm not entirely sure how he does that. It's actually kind of creepy.

"I am inclined to agree," he says seriously.

"Aw, c'mon Sess, you know you love me," I say in a sing-song voice and punch him playfully on the shoulder. "Why else would you carry around a tampon for me?"

I think my reasoning is logical. He, however, does not.

He shrugs and says, "I simply do not wish to repeat last year's incident." I cross my arms and pout; that was a low blow. Then I poke him the chest.

"I paid to have your car cleaned completely, and there aren't any stains, so you don't have any right to complain!"

Sango snickers at me as we round the corner.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Heard what happened in science, Sesshoumaru," Bankotsu taunts as we walk in the class. Sesshoumaru simply ignores him and sits down, so he continues. "Man, she's got you whipped, and you haven't even had her in the sack yet!" Manly giggles erupt behind him as his 'crew' laughs at his oh-so-brilliant remark. What a bunch of idiots.

I decide it's time for an INTERVENTION!

….

Yes, Sesshoumaru will kill me for this later.

I yawn, and look at them as if they are the densest creatures in the universe. Hmmm, perhaps they are…

"Sesshoumaru and I aren't like that, and don't worry about his sex life; he's had plenty of action," Sesshoumaru gives me a death glare as I continue on, "There was Sakura, Yume, Misaki…" I drabble on about his various girlfriends and partners until he looks like he's ready to strangle me.

Heh.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

After class, Sesshoumaru and I went to the cafeteria as Sango went to art class. Sesshoumaru gets in the lunch line as I sit down at the table with my bag lunch. I feel strong arms wrap around me, and sigh miserably.

"Hey, Kouga," I say, while not-so-subtly trying to get him off of me.

"Are you ready to be my woman?" He asks confidently. My light pushing at him turns to full-out trying to shove him off of me, which is difficult with him behind me with his Evil Hugs of Doom.

Suddenly, I see Sesshoumaru coming up out of the corner of my eye. My savior is here! Surely he will save me!

….

Jackass.

He just walked by, ignoring the desperate pleading looks I'm giving him, and slides into the seat next to me. Ah, why do I do this to myself, it's the same everyday. The day he saves me from a guy will be the day hell freezes over. Oh wait! There's a town called Hell in the northern part of the States!

Poo. I'm getting my hopes up again.

I stomp on Kouga's foot, he yelps, and lets go of me, same as every day. It was a wonder he could even walk anymore. Sesshoumaru just sits there, poking at his food. I sigh and Kouga limps off.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Kagome falls asleep as I drive her home. She looks so peaceful and fragile, I have to reach out to make sure she's real. I brush her cheek with the back of my hand. Her face scrunches up; I'm fearful I've been caught when she lashes out and grabs my hand. I hold my breath, and wait for her to open accusing eyes at me, but time passes and her eyes remain shut. Actually, she gets a death-grip on my arm, and brings it toward her, snuggling into my sleeve.

I pull up into her driveway with great difficulty (driving with one arm is hard), and park. I tug my arm, and she relinquishes it reluctantly. I get out of the car and walk around to the passenger side, and sighing, pick her still-sleeping form up. I carry her bridal-style up the steps, and she burrows into my shirt.

I am not enjoying this. Of course not.

Her mother lets me in, and I make my way to her room. I attempt to place her in her bed, but she stubbornly clings to me. As I weigh my options, I hear a voice call out to me.

"Sess," she whispers in her sleep. I stop breathing and my heart pounds rapidly in my chest.

"Yes?" I whisper in her ear, after regaining some of my composure. She clutches me tighter to herself, then mutters so softly I can barely hear it,

"I need another tampon…"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

**A/N: This was inspired by frustration of the burdens of being a woman. Damn idiotic…. –mumbles to herself-**

**Please Review!!! (Flames are welcome and will be used to roast turkey! Ooooh… turkey leg on a stick!)**

**Side Note: If you're wondering about the title…. Truthfully I don't know either. **


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